What a funny life.

Tonight I had a wonderful night of hanging out with one of the most spiritual, loving, kind and supportive people in my life. We talked Jesus and how he gets us through anything... Just hand it over. Don't fret he'll take care of you.... We enjoyed some good talks, wine, laughs, rain and her amazing outdoor/covered porch. Great evening.... 

I get home... Grab the mail and I have a letter in the mailbox from my new neighbor.... Not Vicki Gunderson (the woman who yelled about my dogs being off leash while i took the trash out) but her daughter to the north of us.... 

Well recently I've developed a green thumb and have been gardening... My girls come out and sunbathe, play, or sit in the shade... Occasionally wondering 10 feet away but not much further... Well the neighbor has dog poop in her front/side yard. We live on a busy street with a very busy sidewalk... But I get the note. I have not deliberately sent them to her yard to use the bathroom... If they have 'used her yard'... Please let me know and ill be more than happy to clean it up!!!! I'm a responsible dog owner... I pick up their poop on walks... And give dirty looks to people who don't... I grab some bags and a flash light to clean up the dog poop. And what do I find.......

What's that you see?????? Dog poop. MY NEIGHBORS DELIBERATELY PUT DOG POOP ON OUR FRONT WALK WAY!!!!!!!! 

Who does that??????? I was willing to go pick it up at midnight with a flashlight in the rain... 

Please don't put it on my front walk way. People are effing CRAZY!!!!! I would NEVER DO THAT!!!!!!!! So much for neighborly!!! 

The War on Weight.

size 00

size 14

Soap box #1556: Why does weight and body type weigh (no pun intended) so much on if you are attractive or not. Where did the perception come from? Not thin means you are less of a person, unhealthy, unattractive, lazy or unworthy??? Who makes these decisions about beauty? I feel like 'Bigger People' are becoming the new target of discrimination. First it was the American Indians, Poor People, Women, African Americans, Homosexuals and now people who are Overweight.

I understand obesity correlates with infertility. But this day and age most anyone can have a baby, adopt a baby, have a sergeant carry your baby, get artificially inseminated,  have your husband's vasectomy reversed, store your eggs for a later date, put sperm and eggs together to make an embryo and then freeze it. .....and many more medical phenomenon's....

Now on to the medical debate about obesity.....There are obvious medical concerns for people who are overweight who's lifestyle consists of fast food, no exercise and a permanent spot on the couch...That is their choice....their right......Then there are the rest of us....who aren't thin.....who don't sit and watch T.V. 24/7, don't eat out,  exercise regularly..... And blessed with a big body.

The story of -The Chart-
I go for my regular exam...  all my lab results are back and 'great'! I'm healthy!!! ...Then as I gather my things.....get ready to leave....It's hanging directly in front of me. slight swaying back and forth from the air conditioner vent... The "Are you OBESE chart?" Yep. 5'4 175lbs......OBESE. Staring me straight in the face. BIG AND BOLD. " You need to lose weight, you are obese which will earn you a shortened life span."

I'm a physically fit 30 year old who runs marathons and 1/2 marathons, exercises 5+ times a week and i'm still considered 'Obese'. OBESE. An obese Marathon runner. Who would have thought?
My doctor, who is wonderful, (Shout out, Dr.Knopp!) referred me to this program through the local hospital to lose weight healthily with a doctor, dietician, psychologist and trainer......Awesome, yes, perfect!!! I just need to call my insurance to make sure its covered. I call.  Nope, my insurance doesn't cover 'weight problems'.   You would think that they would for prevention reasons....less money now but MORE money later.... Thanks Preferred Health Care, I'm going to stop running, eat some cookie dough and a full pizza now. Haha. Just kidding.

I think I'm going to start a movement....Every person matters.

 I matter. You matter.

"Just Love, Not Judge."  

Life is beautiful. It's a miracle and our bodies are amazing regardless of judgement.

(Dove' Body has done an amazing thing by recognizing the beauty of all shapes and sizes)

Tip of the day for on-line daters....I WILL NOT TALK TO YOU WINK AT YOU AND I"LL PROBABLY DELETE YOU.....If your profile says that you only like "SLENDER or ATHLETIC AND TONED."

Lots of men don't even select "ABOUT AVERAGE or CURVY".

Weird.

 

XOXO

-CuriousCursor-

 





 

One of the most wonderful things about 'thinking' I was on the road to marriage was that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER have to on-line date again. I wouldn't have to 'apply' for dates, sell myself, pretend that I'm flawless or be 'winked' at by creepy old men. 

But now, I'm feeling like a date would be fun. Going out for drinks or dinner.....someone to do fun stuff with....light and easy.....but I live in Manhattan, KS. Its virtually impossible to meet a mature man who graduated from college, has a career, ambitious, doesn't spend all his spare time in Aggieville and has a car/drivers license.  I don't feel like I'm that picky. I possess those qualities....shouldn't someone I date, have those qualities too?

We'll see.

 

 

<Mr.CuriousCursor are you out there??>

XOXO
-CuriousCursor- 

"I made.............."



This blog is not about me. Though I was there. One of my friends from work and I went out with some of the Moms of kiddos that go to our school. They are the fun Mom's at school who are involved in everything! They love our school and we love them!!!
They invited us to watch their girls play softball.......and then out for a drink afterwards....We went to the softball game and then to Coco Bolos for the $5 carafes of Sangaria! YUM! We chatted and laughed and caught up on everyone's lives.....My friend.... Leaves her phone face up on the table...not paying much attention... (Side Note: Kelly is a magnificently talented artist. She is always working on something for other people....)
Kelly gets a text and one of the Mom's glances at it and see's that it is from her boyfriend and saw that it said.... "I made...." written on the text...looks a little closer & finished reading the sentence and immediately said "Uh, I didn't mean to read that I, uh,  just glanced and only saw 'I made' and thought how cute it was that your boyfriend makes you things too..... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Kelly picks up her phone, reads the text....Turns bright red in the face....And says "Ah man, ....I'm so embarrassed!!!! "
The text read "I made some cum for you." This caused an extreme laugh....I'm actually still laughing about it today......  Poor Kelly was mortified because not only is she out with a couple of girlfriends but the Mom's of students we teach....HAHAHAHA. Priceless. As I dropped her off at home...she said "Well, now if anyone asks what my most embarrassing moment is.... This tops the charts!" Hilarious. 
A giggle is always fun!! I love laughing!!!!

-XOXO-

Curiouscursor

Part two.... the final debris.

 

 

 

Part 2: His family is on vacation on a European cruise. That I was supposed to be on. They invited me at Christmas. Giving me the itinerary and a planning binder for the trip. Obviously, the invitation was retracted. Well, I figure this is the perfect opportunity to move the rest of my things out of his parents barn. I have been avoiding this task for um....since the break up. Knowing that I would have to see his Mom. I love his Mom and she loved me too. I've talked to his Mom on the phone a few times but each time it has ended with both of us crying....I wanted to avoid all that drama and re-injury to both of us. I knew that he grandma was watching the house so I called her to see if I could come get my things. She said 'Sure.' It turns out that his younger cousin was also there who just recently graduated from high school. She came out to help me put things in my car. Mid-cry of course. She cried explaining how sad she was too and then the rest of the debris were unleashed:  She said " (insert his mom's name here) and I are the only ones who stick up for you." I was taken back by this statement....she said "Well, ever since you put that tracking device on his cell phone and had one of your friends go and yell at him while he was on a date with someone....they think your crazy.... They were going to call you and talk to you about the tracking device." 

UH EXCUSE ME? Tracking device? Sending someone to yell at him while he was on a date? This is the first that I had heard about either of those things. None of my friends have ever mentioned seeing Seth on a date. I don't want to know if he is dating. She goes on to say "Grandma has made comments about how you weren't much of a house keeper." Haha. That statement made me laugh. Ask anyone who knows me, has lived with me, has met me that I prefer things tidy. Not spotless....but I make my bed every day. Do at least a load of laundry a day and keep things tidy.

What does my house cleaning have to do with anything? Bizarre.

 

Apparently his way of coping with how he has treated ME is to villainize me into being a dirty, awful, psycho ex-girlfriend.

Trying to some how justify that he was the 'good guy'. You and I both know the truth, Buddy. You have to live with your actions. All I did was love the wrong guy. You are a liar. You are fake. Karma is a bitch. I am working on not caring what others think about me. But I loved his family. And the thought that he is filling their mind with untrue things about me is so hurtful. It shows a lot about his character.

 

In my previous post I wrote about getting over someone. Deleting all contact with them. Apparently with this dude I have to take the extremes of no contact. I am getting a new phone number. I deleted and blocked anyone (including all his family and friends) who is associated with him on facebook, twitter and instagram.... That is extreme but I don't want to be associated with such a dysfunctional group of people.

 

 

 

Post-Break-Up Debris!!!!

How do we move forward?
Well me, personally,  I move forward from the break up having no contact....no contact with his friends no contact with his family, no longer being facebook friends, not following him on twitter, avoiding all places I knew that I could possibly run into him. I changed grocery stores, roads I took to work, changed pharmacies and changed my gym schedule. (Small town minimal options for gym membership) Bingo!!!  Changing all those things has got to make this easier..... WRONG!
I may have placed myself outside of his loops but there always has to be something that brings me back to his loop. Why? This is the super power I want:  The power of forgetting! If I could forget their would be no problems, no bumps in the road or post-relationship debris. This week has been a week of debris. A friend said "Hey! Do you still talk to your ex?  I saw _____________  and her husband at the bars with your ex-boyfriend hanging out. They were in the same group of people." Who is this couple you ask? Well, the husband is military and was deploying so I helped her find a place to live for the year...encouraging her to move in with a friend.... Made sure to always include her and invite her to things....so that she felt loved and supported in an unknown town while her husband is away..Went on weekend trips together....invited her to Christmas and Thanksgiving....etc.....(Genuinely loved being friends with her) ... .... Wrote graduate school recommendation letters.....and set her up with the best professional practicum available in our town. Welp. TRUE: Yes, she was hanging out with him because come on "What else was I to do when my husband still wants to be friends with him? I knew it would upset you? I knew it was wrong and has been bothering me. But I've moved on from the whole 'you two breaking up deal! I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I just didn't tell you (for 4 months!!!)"

Loyalty: is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. 

Let me just say to all of my friends/acquaintances/girls who were fucked-over by a guy.."Girl-Code".. I would Loyally NOT hang out with your ex boyfriend who humiliated you, lacked any sort of ability to treat you with dignity and kicked you out of your home because 'they didn't see you happily married in 10 years....' with zero notice.....
Never. I would never think this was okay or that we could maintain a healthy friendship. Sidenote: Her husband met him maybe 2 times prior to the break up. TWO TIMES!!!!! I was friends with his wife for 20 months prior to the break up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some people don't have loyalty.

ALERT!!! ALERT!!!! THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF

POST-BREAKUP DEBRIS!!!

XOXO

-CuriousCursor-